


Tit for Tat

by eyemeohmy



Category: Darkwing Duck (Cartoon 1991)
Genre: M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rimming, Rough Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Sex Toys, Shameless Smut, Wet & Messy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-03 19:46:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20458466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyemeohmy/pseuds/eyemeohmy
Summary: Remote controlled toys can span through time and space, it would appear.





	Tit for Tat

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing much to say aside from the fact there needs to be more of this ship and I, for one, am happy to take prompts if you're willing to throw some at me. Please pardon any grammatical errors, and enjoy the ride.

"Well, what about Saint East bank? We haven't robbed them in almost--"

"Two days! Seems you're a few marbles short a set lately, 'ey, Sparky?"

"Don't call--"

"Survey shows a happy team is a proactive team!"

"He's right. Let's not argue. I mean, there's gotta be _some_ place we haven't hit up yet..."

"We crossed eight outta ten joints off the list!" Megavolt snarled, electricity flickering from his helmet plugs. "I don't wanna kill the buzz, but I think we've finally blown all our fuses."

The Fearsome Four went quiet, looking expectantly at Negaduck. 

Usually by now Negaduck would have made the team's decision for them. But ever since they started this week's scheming session, their aggressive, outspoken, domineering leader had been... uncharacteristically quiet. It wasn't unusual when Negaduck was plotting or just ignoring them, but that clearly wasn't the case, and even the more dimmer members of the motley crew knew something was off.

Negaduck sat at the end of the table, in his usual seat, the largest and tallest, full of gashes and holes where he'd angrily stabbed and mutilated the chair instead of his four idiotic, merry crime-mates. His head was bowed, most of his hat hiding his face except for his long beak, pulled back in its usual frown but somehow less menacing and more frustrated. Negaduck's hands were tightly clutched together, trembling, the skin red beneath the white feathers on his knuckles. Every now and then he'd grunt or snort, but in the past fifteen minutes the Five had been arguing and planning, Negaduck hadn't said a single word--at least nothing intelligible or above a mumble under his breath.

Megavolt sat closest to the duck, noting his breathing was also slightly labored. Chest rising and falling in shivers. The electricity Negaduck was putting out had increased somewhat, although only Megavolt could notice the shift. It was coming from somewhere on Negaduck, and Megavolt could see a few of his feathers standing on end.

Megavolt frowned. He looked among his comrades, everyone quickly shooting up a hand. Megavolt was the slowest and cursed. He'd have to be the one to poke the "slumbering" Hellbeast. "Uhhh..." Megavolt cleared his throat, fidgeting uneasily in his creaking chair. "So..." He looked to the others, Quackerjack impatiently pointing at the comically large toy watch on his wrist. "Negaduck, are you... okay?"

Negaduck's breath hitched. It took him a moment, but after a deep inhale, the duck forced his head up, eyes narrowed and slightly glazed. "Yesss..." he growled, one corner of his beak twitching. "Did I t-tell you knobs to s-stop plotting?"

"We were hoping you could help us out, boss," Liquidator said. "Eight outta ten banks failed to meet our standards."

"Well, what about the jewelry shop downtown?" Bushroot suggested. "Security's always so nice every time we--"

Negaduck growled, jerking in his chair, the legs scrapping loudly across the ground. Bushroot's leaves trembled, and he leaned back to hide behind Quackerjack.

"Is that... a no go?" Megavolt asked, eyes darting back and forth.

Negaduck ground his teeth; they rattled nearly as loud as Quackerjack's chattering toys. That amused the giddy duck, poorly stifling his giggling in his hands. Bushroot bent forward, this time to avoid catching a blade that Negaduck would inevitably throw at Quackerjack to shut him up.

Nothing. Negaduck hissed, snorting. "Low q-quality garbage..." he finally wheezed out, and Megavolt shivered at the rush of electricity pouring off his trembling, tense frame. "N-Next."

"Next is, uh," Quackerjack whipped out a toy set of glasses, big nose, and mustache, putting it on and talking stiffly, "Mrs. Howell's private gala near Audubon Bay, my good chaps."

"We haven't hit that place in months! Right?"

"Right! And the warranty is almost up!" Liquidator laughed, rubbing his watery paws to-- He let out a gargled cry, falling with a splash to the floor as Negaduck punched the table, splintering the old wood.

"No!" Negaduck barked, spraying Megavolt's face with spittle. His eyes were completely manic and misted over. "No! Nnno!" He nearly ripped his jacket open, hitting the table again. "Nnot... not there... not--nnn..." Negaduck grabbed at his turtleneck, too hot, too flustered, before falling back into his chair and squirming. "N... 'Nother. Ch-choose another!"

The baffled Four exchanged worried, unsettled looks. They'd crossed off the other locations, but if Negaduck hadn't been listening earlier... "Uh, so, what, um--here!" Bushroot tittered, jabbing the paper in his hand. "The St. Canard Aquarium! They got in a new dolphin! Dolphin meat sells real good on the black market, I hear."

"No, not Tumbly!" Quackerjack cried, wiping away tears. "I _like_ Tumbly." He glowered hatefully. "But that smug son of a bitch, Flipsy... Thinks he's so funny, stealing the limelight from Tumbly! That untalented hack!"

Negaduck twitched.

"Should we... take a break?" Megavolt asked Negaduck, tapping his index fingers together.

"No... No..." Negaduck coughed. He brushed down his ruffled cheek feathers, cleared his throat, sat upright. "Keep... keep t-talking..."

"Are you s--"

"I'm listening!" Negaduck spat, rubbing his knees and thighs together. "You think I'd ask y-you fucknuts to keep running your s-stupid mouths 'cause I like hearing y-your irritating voices?"

"Employees are permitted a fifteen minute break in between shifts," Liquidator mumbled.

Negaduck glared daggers at the dog. Then his eyelids twitched, gaze drifting off.

"Right! So, the aquarium has new hours. They close at 8 instead of 7 on the weekends! How wonderful! I hope their collection of sea flora are doing well. It's been a while since I chatted with Amy the anemone."

Negaduck cracked something. Loud.

"Say now, I'm the one who has to slip past security and let you four inside," Liquidator huffed, "aren't I due for a pay rise if we--"

Negaduck pressed his elbows into the table, sitting forward, raising his back end up against the chair, his tail wagging. Megavolt giggled before clearing his throat. Negaduck hadn't heard him--or didn't care--and just hung his head, until his hat once more obscured most of his face. The sounds and noises he was making, however, were audible--just barely, but Megavolt and Liquidator flanking his sides could hear them distinctly, both visibly disturbed. Liquidator inched and scooted his chair away from the grumbling, grunting, _whimpering_ duck.

Bushroot leaned over to Megavolt, whispering, "Is Negaduck dying?"

Megavolt shrugged and shook his head.

Bushroot sighed, disappointed.

Quackerjack took out a sword. "It's settled then!" he exclaimed, stabbing the table. "We snuff Flipsy! Tonight!"

"But... Negaduck didn't say--"

"Fuck!" Negaduck screamed, twisting in his chair, thrusting his hips against the table until he was practically humping it.

"Negaduck!" Megavolt screamed, sparking. "Are you all ri--"

"No! No!" Negaduck yelled, slamming repeatedly against the table, head thrown back and gasping. "Nnn--yes, oh G-God!"

Megavolt gasped as Negaduck's eyes rolled back into his head. "I think he's having a seizure!" he exclaimed, jumping to his feet. He took Negaduck by the beak, trying to pry his grit teeth open and keep him from choking on his-- Megavolt shrieked alongside his leader, the duck spooning his side and clinging for dear life, his hips still twitching and--and--and he was wet? Negaduck was sweating profusely, the front of his undershirt, turtleneck, and eye mask drenched. To Megavolt's shock and horror, more ran down his quivering legs.

"I'm no doctor," Quackerjack said, then pulled on a lab coat, "but I am! And I can most definitely say that is not _all_ sweat."

Bushroot, Megavolt, Quackerjack, and Mr. Banana Brain all looked to Liquidator.

"It wasn't me!" Liquidator protested, hands in the air. "I'm still employee of the month!"

"Fucking H-Hell!" Negaduck shoved Megavolt to the floor, swaying on his weak knees. He hit the table, tumbled over before catching himself on his chair. "You i-idiots!" he screamed, trying not to smile. "Yooou... complete... ah..." Negaduck squeaked, blushed, eyes crossed. "_Oh_..."

"Morons?"

"Knobs?"

"Useless jerks?"

"... Friends?" Bushroot shrugged, smiling lopsidedly.

Negaduck shook his head, gasping. He gripped the edge of the table until the wood buckled and cracked. "Nnn... figure..." he choked, tongue running along his bill, "figure... something out!" He finished with a terrible shriek, quickly wrapping his cape around his body as if he were suddenly caught naked in front of his high school classmates. Negaduck opened his mouth, wanted to curse and chew his loser teammates out, but then he was smiling and whimpering mirthfully again.

Negaduck screamed. Just screamed. He flipped the table over and ran as fast as his jelly legs could carry him into the other room.

The Fearsome Four were pale, scared, and very, very confused. They didn't know what to say.

"Maybe," Megavolt muttered, rubbing the back of his neck, "maybe Negaduck caught the flu?"

"More like rabies..." Bushroot murmured.

"True," Quackerjack giggled, turning to Liquidator, "heya, Bud! Go throw a bucket of yourself on Negsy, see if he freaks o--"

They heard Negaduck scream again, but it was nothing like the cry from earlier. Bushroot gasped in his hands, blushing. Quackerjack cackled, falling over and kicking his bell-jingling legs in the air. Megavolt sparked and flickered, slack-jawed.

"Now _that_," Liquidator leered, "is the sound of one _very_ satisfied customer."

\---

After cleaning up and shooting one single life threatening glare at his teammates to keep their mouths shut, Negaduck promptly made his way back to the cake portal home. After crashing into the same, now large indent of busted gravel in the road, Negaduck wasted no time storming to his house, cursing and muttering to himself, trembling--out of rage this time.

Negaduck kicked down the front door of his house for the sixty-fifth consecutive time. Launchpad sat on one of the worn and battered recliners, filing his nails with a switchblade. He didn't seem surprised by his leader's sudden and terrifying entrance; he didn't even look up from his manicure.

"You!" Negaduck snarled, and if this were anyone else but Launchpad, their pants would be filled by just how frightening the deranged duck sounded. "You... fucking impatient little prick!" he roared, stomping over the door and breaking it further. "One day!" Negaduck bellowed, stopping in front of Launchpad and slapping the knife from his hands. At this level, Negaduck could easily smash his face, practically his eyeballs, right into his lackey's, fingers twitching into fists at his sides. "It's only been _one fucking day_!"

Launchpad sniffed. "So... that's a bad thing?"

"Give me the remote!"

Launchpad went to argue, but just sighed and handed Negaduck a small remote. Negaduck removed the tiny, matching vibrator from his jacket pocket, tossing both across the room. "Today I was king clown of the clown circus!" he barked and spat. "Do you know just how fucking embarrassing that feels? Do you, you assclown?"

"A lot?" Launchpad helped, tilting his head. He smiled casually.

Negaduck grabbed the front of Launchpad's torn shirt. "I'm going to kill you," he hissed, eyes red. "Right after this." He ripped open Launchppad's seventy-eighth consecutive shirt and mashed their beaks together in a painful, passionate kiss. 

Launchpad practically shoved off his pants and fighter jet boxers, lifting Negaduck up in his arms, and turning to fall to the floor on his back with a heavy _thud_. Negaduck broke the kiss, straddling Launchpad's waist, irritably and impatiently pulling off his jacket and shirt, letting his hat fall by itself. He felt his partner's erect cock pressing against his ass; with a dark sneer, Negaduck rolled forward, rubbing and stroking his tail up along his dick. 

Launchpad groaned, instantly taking Negaduck by the arms and into another kiss.

Negaduck reached inside Launchpad's pocket, smirking hot air against the larger bird's beak when he removed a bottle of lube. "Fucker," he chortled, then bit down on the edge of Launchpad's bottom bill, nearly piercing through the hard material and giving both their cocks a twitch.

"But," Negaduck said suddenly, shaking the bottle between Launchpad's glazed, crossed eyes, "not today, asshole." He threw it across the room, out the broken window, and into a screeching stray cat. Negaduck stood, for once towering over Launchpad--physically, at least. In every other way, he'd always been a titan. Negaduck turned, presenting himself, tail swishing back and wait, was Launchpad supposed to be punished right now or rewarded?

Ah, well, it didn't matter, because Negaduck was seated on his face, grinding his ass against his beak, and Launchpad automatically grabbed his hips and held him there as he worked his tongue against the entrance. Negaduck growled and dropped forward, grabbing a handful of Launchpad's chest feathers and pulling. Sure, lube would make things a lot more comfortable and easier, but what were they? Healthy and sensible?

"Fuck," Negaduck groaned, wiggling down on Launchpad's tongue as it pushed past slowly spreading muscles. Then Launchpad crooned and the vibrations shot right through Negaduck's dick, now visible and bright red against his white, frizzy plumage. "Fuck!" He smashed a fist down on Launchpad's thigh, the larger bird groaning in pleasure and once more tickling that sweet spot.

Negaduck relaxed, tension visibly leaving his slack shoulders. He panted heavily, hand wiping the sweat from his face. He tore off his mask, dropping it as he dropped forward, stretching out, grabbing Launchpad's dick roughly by the base, and swallowing it nearly whole. Launchpad tongue thrust hard inside Negaduck's ass, twisting; Negaduck trembled, grinning as the sharp edges of his teeth just barely grazed up his partner's shaft. No matter how many times he sucked Launchpad off, the big lug never got used to those threatening little bastards mere inches from tearing chunks out of the family jewels.

Negaduck clumsily lapped and lathered up the fat cock, slobbering heavily. He had no intention of dragging this out; teasing and tormenting was for good minions who didn't abuse their power so shortly after being practically gift wrapped it. Negaduck pressed Launchpad's dick deep into his throat once, twice, however; living off garbage and breathing in noxious fumes since hatching did wonders controlling and numbing Negaduck's gag reflex.

Satisfied, Negaduck sat back, practically throwing his entire weight on Launchpad's face, every single inch of his tongue squirming inside him. Launchpad tore a few feathers from his hips, and Negaduck moaned; he climbed off Launchpad, thighs and ass wet, Launchpad's face red and blue and blissed all over.

Negaduck turned, pulling up his tail, lining up. With a foreboding smirk, he seated himself suddenly and nearly completely on Launchpad's cock. The burn and spasming muscles were welcomed, however, both ducks keening and bucking, Launchpad burying himself another inch inside the little big boss. Negaduck groaned heavily, loud and grave and Launchpad was reeling, that wonderful, deep sound resonating through his dick, into his bones, and he forced himself not to just grab Negaduck by the throat, twist him around face first into the wall and fuck him wide apart.

Maybe another time, though.

Negaduck clawed into Launchpad's torso, groping at his face. Back bending to reach and nibble at his cheeks, his bill, his tongue. Always on the razor edge (literally and figuratively) of biting and shredding into flesh with his fangs. Launchpad's heels dug into the ground, rocking his body into thrusts and meeting Negaduck half way. Negaduck had adjusted soon enough to take his entire girth easily, their bodies sliding back together by memory.

Launchpad took Negaduck's smaller cock in his hand, furiously jerked and tugged. Negaduck bit down on his tongue, drawing blood that melted in both their mouths, bittersweet. Negaduck swayed back and forth, one hand helping to guide Launchpad's fist along, riding both on the dick and into his squeezing fingers.

Launchpad licked the corners of his mouth, smearing blood in the feathers. "You look... good up there..." he snickered, eyes hooded.

"And you're just right where you belong," Negaduck smirked. He slammed down, and Launchpad arched off the ground with a roar. Negaduck grinned widely, chewing his tongue as Launchpad came inside him, filling and filling and filling until his stomach felt stretched and full.

Launchpad moaned, sinking into the floor. Negaduck slapped him across the face, barked, "Hey! Did I say you could stop? Get back to work, dickweed!"

Launchpad snarled, brows furrowing. He squeezed Negaduck's cock as if intending on breaking the damn thing, and Negaduck yelped in a mix of pain and pleasure, rising into the constricting iron grip. Launchpad picked up speed, friction hot and burning but it was just what Negaduck needed and with a few more furious yanks, he came, Launchpad instinctively loosening his fingers, letting cum streak across his disheveled chest.

Negaduck finished with a grunt, flopping back and off of Launchpad and onto the floor beside him, letting the cum dribble free into a mess between his legs. They panted, shaking and sweating. Negaduck gulped dryly, then tiredly jabbed Launchpad in the ribs with his elbow. Launchpad hissed, but reluctantly stumbled onto his feet and into the kitchen. He returned a minute later, dropping a long neck beer in Negaduck's hands; he laid back down beside his leader, knocking back his own bottle.

Negaduck bit off the cap with his teeth, spit it at the limp, sagging ceiling fan above. He took a swallow. "You're lucky I'm so Goddamn merciful," he huffed, "I'm gonna spare your life. _Again_."

"You're too gracious, Lord Negaduck," Launchpad snorted.

They nursed their drinks in silence for a few minutes, bodies settling.

"Can we still use the toy?"

"Well, it is yer turn, after all."

"Wait, you didn't say--"

"Fuckin' cry me a river, loser, and get that toy lubed up yesterday."

"Goddammit."


End file.
